Jupiter Ascending

Last night I went to see "Jupiter Ascending". It is a glorious eclectic cornucopia of colour, elaborate sets, dazzling wardrobes and a plot that left my jaw hanging, metaphorically, for large portions of it. It has everything - and I mean everything - that you could wish for in a science-fiction epic. Cool tech: check; space battles: check. A mere mortal, everyday human thrown into the midst of this glorious chaos: check. And of course a romantic subplot, many strange and - in some cases - quite over the top aliens (draconians, Neesh the pilot), and oh such beautiful and dramatic sets. And that wedding dress (*drools*).

This is wish fulfilment taken to the ultimate level.

So, how do describe the plot?
Jupiter's father is killed before she is born, and her mother births her in a shipping container enroute to America. Here she labours away with her mother and cousins, cleaning houses for the rich. She hates her life, as she constantly re-iterates. Meanwhile, in a galaxy far far away, but with portals comveniently linked to our own, three siblings squabble over the planets that are their birthright - which includes Earth. And eerie mention is made of the word "harvest".

Jupiter's life then takes a sudden and unexpected turn as she finds herself caught up in this intergalatic warfare. Firstly, with the introduction of the half-wolf splice, Caine, an ex-mercanary working for Titus Abraxus. Then we are treated to some delicious eye-candy, as Caine and Stinger (played by Sean Bean) wrestle outside a rundown farmhouse. There really is everything here: space battles over a US city, demented bureacracy, a mad-cap plot that makes sense on a superficial level - and who cares about delving any deeper?

It's beautiful, and crazy and I'm not sure what I want more - that dress or those rocket boots...